Terrible Things
by destroyedbymyotp
Summary: When Dean's wife passes from cancer, him and his son, are left struggling and trying to find peace in their life, with her no longer around. Though, Dean promises himself he will never fall in love again, he learns he can't always chose those kinda things. AU! Destiel! (The story is inspired by the song, Terrible Things by Mayday Parade.)


Chapter 1

Dean Winchester contemplated his son, Ben. Lisa, Dean's wife, passed away 5 months ago. The lost of Lisa left a heart retching pang, in both Dean and Ben. Dean brought up a hand and massaged the back of his neck. He has been putting off discussing about this, but it's been too long.

Ben was situated on the end of his bed, staring at the pale, blue, wall ahead of him. Dean walked over and sat on the end of the bed with Ben. He focused on Ben and he could still clearly see the agony in his eyes. No doubt, the same agony, Dean would be presenting in his eyes. Dean raised his hand to rub his son's back.

"By the time I was your age, I'd give anything to fall in love truly. That's when I met your mother." Dean dropped his hand from Ben's back and placed it on his lap. He stared at the same wall Ben was staring at, remembering the first time he met Lisa, he honest to god had the biggest crush on her.

Without feedback from Ben, Dean continued, "your mother once told me, she could tell that I was in love with her by my eyes." Dean brought his hand to brush at his eyes, remembering this precious memory. Lisa and Dean, were only married for two years, before Lisa passed away. When Dean meet Lisa at high school, she was already in a long term relationship, this guy was Ben's real farther. So ya, Ben wasn't blood related to Dean, but that didn't matter, no matter what, he was still his son. Though, the blood related farther, disappeared on them, when Ben was six.

Six years following the farther up and leaving, Lisa ran into Dean again. They hit it off instantly and two years later they got married, Dean really perceived he found the one this time. Nevertheless, she was ripped away from his life, it honestly wasn't fair, but when was life fair?

Dean felt his eyes mist over, and he squinted his eyes to clear them. Thereon continuing on what he was saying, "life can do terrible things son, and dammit, I wish God showed you differently."

Dean side glanced at Ben, tears emerging in his brown eyes, eyes just like Lisa. Dean twisted so he was facing Ben. He reached out his arms and pulled him into a hug. Ben's cheek on Dean shoulder, he felt Ben chest rising and following as he tried to hide his sobs. Tears fell from Dean's moss green eyes, and fell on Ben's blue jeans. "If your given a choice, don't fall in love, walk away, don't let her get you, there just too much to lose."

He felt Ben nod his head and he gripped a little tighter. Dean released his grip on Ben, when they both stopped crying. With a hand he brush the brown hairs away from Ben's face and looked him in the eye. The pad of his thumbs whipped at the drying tears on his cheek. He looked at the digital clock on Ben's night stand. Nine pm.

Dean moved his hands to pat at Ben's knee, "go shower, you have school tomorrow."

Ben nodded and departed from the bed. Dean twisted to watch Ben leave his room. Dean ran his palms on his thighs and aroused. He looked around Ben's room, and spotted a picture of Lisa lying on his desk. A few small steps to the desk, Dean reached out, and brushed his thumb over the glass cover photo. Putting it back up in the corner, he sadly smiled at the photo.

Dean was knocked out of trance of thoughts, when the kitchen phone rang. Dean left the teenager small, but cozy and personal room. Trailing his fingers against the smooth, pale green colour walls, he made his way into the kitchen. The colouring of the walls changing to a happy yellow. In the kitchen the phone ID read, Sam Winchester, Dean freakishly tall, younger brother. "Hey."

"Hi Dean," his brother greeted. Dean didn't acknowledge him further, he was going to just let his brother get to the point of why he was calling. "How are you?"

"I'm fine Sammy," Dean all but lied, he was nowhere from fine, but he would never initiated it out loud. It just wasn't how Dean Winchester worked.

"How's Ben then?"

"He's managing."

"We haven't seen each other for a while, and I was wondering if you and Ben would like to come over for dinner tomorrow?" Sam asked after a bit of silence.

It was true, Dean hasn't seen Sam since the funeral. It's just been to hectic lately that he couldn't. He whipped a palm across his face and replied, "ya, we could do that, what time do you want us over?"

"Seven?"

"Sounds good," Dean nodded even though Sam couldn't see him.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then."

"Bye." The phone line went dead with a beep and he hung it back up.

Dean rubbed his distressed eyes, he had work tomorrow. He was a mechanic at Bobby Singers garage. Bobby Singer was a very good family friend of his, and taught him everything about cars, well growing up.

With a flick of a wrist he turned off the kitchen lights, then the living room lights, the only light now on was in the small hallway. Ben was still in the shower, he will inform him on the dinner plains in the morning. Dean walked into the master bedroom, Lisa things were packed away into boxes, and put into the walk in closet, to help ease the suffering lose of Lisa. He couldn't bear to have the constant remember.

He stripped off his clothes, leaving himself only in boxers and walked over to his now to big bed. Dean closed his eyes and tried to forget the warmth of a body that should beside him, but isn't there, no longer . Tiredness overtook Dean and he slip into sleep.

_White walls were surrounding Dean, he didn't know where he was. He laid a flat hand on the walls and started walking. Subsequently realizing that he was in a hallway, he turned corners here, and there and eventually was beheld in front of a metal door. The metal painted a deep blue, with a square, glass window in the middle of the door. He peered into the glass window. _

_A women laid in the bed, her eyes closed and long dark hair flowing everywhere. The women was attached to breathing tubes and heart monitors. Dean was drawn to the women. Something nagging him to go into the room._

_The also metal doorknob twisted on it's on and the big blue door opened. Dean feet seeming to stir on their own now, they lead him to behold in front of the sleeping lady. He looked down, the women seemed so familiar. But his mind was all to foggy. _

_Eyes opened, appearing two big brown eyes. Dean gasped and staggered backwards. It was Lisa. "Hello Dean," Lisa voiced and delivered a cheeky smile to Dean. _

_"Lisa," Dean whispered, reaching his hands out to brush Lisa hair. The heart monitor roared before he was able to touch. Doctors came storming into the room and pushed Dean out of the way. "LISA!" Dean screamed, but all he could see and hear, was now lifeless eyes and the heart monitor still roaring in his ears. "NO!" He belched out._

Dean eyes opened in a snap. Propping himself up on his elbows, he surveyed the room. He was in his bedroom, not the room Lisa departed in. It was just a horrid dream. Taking calming breaths to relax his pacing heart, Dean lied back down on the bed. Nightmares have been purposing in his dreams almost every night since Lisa passed.

He stretched his neck sideways to check the clock. Six fifteen am. Dean exhaled a breath and got up, there was no point of going back to sleep, he would only have to go get up in another 15 minutes. Standing up, he stretched his arms out, then went to go shower.

At seven o'clock, Dean was placed in front of the stove, cooking bacon and eggs.

Seven thirty, Ben walked into the kitchen, fully dressed and prepared for school. Bacon and eggs already located on plates, set upon the table. Dean was already settled at the table, munchng his breakfast. Ben sat down on the chair that just happened to match their oak table, that was in front white plate.

"If it's cold I can heat it back up." Dean stated.

Ben scooped up a bit of eggs and tasted away. Using his hand to pick up a piece of bacon, he tasted that too. "It's fine, thank you," Ben opinionated.

"Okay and Ben, Sam invited us over for dinner tonight, you up for it?"

Ben nodded a yes to Dean as his mouth was stuffed full of eggs. Dean picked up his empty plate and place in the dish washer. Leaning against the counter now peering at the back of Ben's brown hair, "Ben, do you want a drive to school, or are you going to walk?"

"Can I have drive please?"

"Well we leave in," Dean paused to check his wrist watch, 7:35, "fifteen minutes." Ben acknowledge and Dean strode off, out of the kitchen.

Twenty-six minutes later, Dean pulled into the parking lot of, Lawrence High school. "I'm going be at work, so you're gonna have to walk home." Dean informed Ben as he left the leather seats of the 67 Chevy Impala. Ben nodded and headed his way into the crowed school.

Ten minutes later Dean pulled into the parking lot of Bobby Singers garage. The door chimed as he walked into the building. At the front desk was a glaring Bobby, "your late Dean."

"Sorry I was taking Ben to school."

"Well there is a Ford out back that needs an oil change."

"Got it," Dean replied, going into the back to change into his work clothes.

Dean had his head in the engine of a Toyota when Bobby came out howling his name. Bobby was anything but a sweet old man. However if you stick around long enough you tell he good guy at heart. Dean grunted and stood up straight.

"Your cell keeps ringing like there is a freaking apocalypse!"

"Maybe one started and we haven't noticed?" Dean questioned, well raising one eyebrow.

"Idjit," Bobby retaliated, before tossing the phone at Dean, and storming back into the building. Dean caught it with one hand and whipped the other hand on his overalls to free it of oil. He then used the clean hand to answer the phone.

"Hello." Dean racked his brain for anybody that would be calling and why, he came up with nothing. He was totally puzzled.

"Dean Winchester?"

"Yes and who would this be?" The voice was even unrecognizable.

"Mr. Shurley, principal of Lawrence High." Huh weird.

"And why would you be calling?"

"It's about your son, Ben Winchester."

"What! Is he okay?" Dean exclaimed.

"No, no, he is okay."

"Then what's the problem?"

"If you can I will like to have a meeting with you."

"What's going on?"

"Ben got into a fight today."

"And you want a meeting about how he punched another student," Dean asked, now just getting annoyed, he got a job to do.

"It wasn't a student that he punched, Mr. Winchester."

Dean cringed at how Mr. Shurely labelled him Mr. Winchester, "then who did he punch?"

"His math teacher, Mr. Novak."

"Eh, Ben has never liked math anyways."

On the other line Dean heard a bunch a movement and fragments of things like, "Mr. Novak," or, "stop it!"

And then a deep voice rumbled through the phone, "Mr. Winchester get your ass over here before I threaten to sue, because I am pretty sure my noise is broken."

Dean eyes went wide at the bluntness of who must have been Mr. Novak, and he mentally slapped himself for making the joke. He grunted and confirmed, "okay I will be there in 20 minutes."

Dean thumbed the end call button. He really hoped Bobby let him go. He came into the main lobby. Bobby looked up at him and asked, "what was the call about?"

"Ben punched his math teacher," Bobby eyes went wide and Dean swears he heared an Idjit. "I'm being called into a meeting, or else he gonna sue, can I reschedule my hours?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Go get changed." Bobby answered and pointed a thumb to the back room and that was exactly what Dean did.

* * *

Dean stood in the door frame of Mr. Shurley office. It was a small room, only 3 chairs and dark brown desk. The room painted a ugly yellow and paper were scatter everywhere. He saw the back of Ben's head and the back of a head, that had dark messy hair. At the desk, was a short guy with a scruffy beard.

"Mr. Winchester, please sit," Mr. Shurley pointed at a chair in the middle of Ben and Mr. Novak.

"Please call me Dean."

"Dean, please sit," Mr. Shurley corrected. Dean nodded and strode over to sit in the middle chair. Hard and uncomfortable chairs mater of fact.

"So how did this even happen?" Dean started and directed the strict parent look towards Ben.

Ben shrunk in his chair a bit at the look Dean was giving him and then replied,"he me mad."

Dean could feel the movement of somebody jumping up behind him and so he whipped his around so fast, it almost gave him whip lash. "I mad you mad?!" Mr. Novak exclaimed. "I was doing my job!"

"Well your job sucks," Ben threw back at his teacher. Mr. Novak looked shocked at the way Ben was speaking to him. Like nobody has every spoken to him that way before.

Dean eyes widen at the situation approaching him, and he looked back at Mr. Novak to see if he would retort anything. At that moment he realized just how blue Mr. Novak eyes were. There weren't just an ordinary blue they were the colour of the freaking ocean blue, so surreal. "No your just annoying brat who doesn't do work in class." And there was the retort everybody in the dingy office room was waiting for.

Dean looked at Ben again, leaving behind the unnatural blue eyes, "you haven't been doing your work?"

"Nope," Ben bluntly replied and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Just in math?" Dean asked now getting worried.

"Yep," another blunt replied.

Dean pinched the bridge of his noise, he wasn't suited for this. Lisa also was the one to take charge when Ben was misbehaving. He honestly didn't know how to handle this. Luckily though it was just math he was misbehaving, he could manage this, possibly. Dean looked up when he heard Mr. Novak deep voice,"back to the matter of how Ben punched me, I am not going to be pressing charges, this time only, but I am expecting punishment."

Mr. Shurley nodded and said, "okay he will get three days of suspension, like he would he would if it was a student he hit instead."

Dean looked at Mr. Novak, his face still expressing a pissed off emotion, "will I be able to get all the assignments Ben hasn't done yet?"

Mr. Novak nodded. "Can do," he replied and got up out his seat and left the office. Dean's eyes followed as Mr. Novak left in a few steps. When he was out, Dean turned his attention back on Ben.

"On those three days you will be doing those assignments mister."

Ben nodded but didn't say anything, just sat back in the hard seat again and stared ahead. Ten minutes later Mr. Novak came back, holding a folder in bold letters written Ben Winchester.

"Do you just happen to have folder of all the work he hasn't done?" Dean asked when Mr. Novak was standing in front of him.

"Yes," he replied and his face showing little to no emotion. Dean chuckled at that, he must have had it out for Ben since the first day of school. Mr. Novak titled his head at Dean, "what's so funny?"

Dean bit back another chuckled and said, "nothing," and reached out to grasp the folder. Crap there was a lot of work in here. "Thank you Mr. Novak for not pressing charges and for the work. I don't mean to be rude but I have to get back to work soon, so will this be all?"

"Yes it will be all for now." Mr. Novak replied.

Dean got up and looked at Ben, "okay time to take you home." Ben stood, and Mr. Novak glared at Ben. Dean cupped Ben's shoulder to turn him around and lead him out of the office.

"Have a good day," Dean called over his shoulders.

The car ride back home was fairly silent for the majority of it. AC/DC pumping through the stereos. Dean drove the slick black car up the driveway of their tiny home. He looked at Ben and said, "I expect you to work on those assignment till I come home at 6:30 to take us to Sam's for dinner."

"Okay," Ben replied getting out the car. He observed the teenager walking up the path to the front door. It was known for kids to act out during rough periods, but Dean hoped it wont get any worse. He couldn't afford it if Mr. Novak actually sued.

Dean pulled the car out of the driveway and back towards Bobby Singers garage.

* * *

Dean and Ben stood on the wooden porch in front of Sam's house. Sam's wife, Jess, answered the door and Dean gasped at the size of her belly. He realized that Jess has started a bit of a bump at the funeral, but he decided to let Sam and Jess tell him on their own time. But of course the last time he actually saw them was 4 months ago and only had a few, breath, phone calls.

Ben went into the house first and Dean following. Sam 6'3 tall body strode down the hallway into the living room to greet the both of them. "Dude! You didn't tell me Jess was pregnant!" Dean exclaimed at Sam and slapped him on the shoulder.

Jess has now situated her self beside Sam and he wrapped his arms around her shoulder, "we could never figure out the right time." Sam smiled and looked down at his wife.

"How long in?" Dean asked.

Jess smiled her beautiful smile, teeth all white and pearly, " 7 months in."

"You're going to have your baby soon!"

Jess nodded, and her golden hair bounced around her shoulder. "Come sit," she said, gesturing towards a very used, and olden couch, Ben was already sitting on. Dean sat down beside his son, Sam followed and sat down beside Dean, causing the couch to curved in and caused Dean to lean into his brother. Jess sat in a brown, fabric, reading chair in the corner beside the couch.

"So is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's a girl." Sam answered with a goofy smile on his face. Even though Dean would never admit it, he loved these moments it made the ache disappear just for a bit.

"What are you going to name her then?"

"Either Amelia or Ellen," Dean chest went warm at the idea of Sam and Jess naming their baby Ellen. Ellen was the mom Dean and Sam never had, since their mom died in a house fire, when they were to young to remember.

"Ellen would be a nice name," Dean stated his opinion.

"Yeah, Sam and I were leaning more towards that one too."

A timer beeped in the kitchen, Jess went to get up but Sam got up first telling his wife to just to sit and relax, which she did.

Jess narrowed her look at the 16 year old on the couch, "Ben how is school going for you?"

"Good," Ben replied and Dean looked at Ben rolling his eyes.

"What was that for?" Jess asked, pointing at Dean.

"Ben punched one of his teacher in the face today," Dean explained.

Jess gasped and covered her mouth. She lowered the hand well asking, "did the teacher press chargers?"

Ben shrunk back into the couch as far as the beat up couch would let him, trying to escape this horrid conversation. "No, he said he wont this time."

Sam came back striding on to long of legs, into the living room, "what did I hear about pressing chargers?" Of course Sam would want to know more about this, he was after all a bit shot lawyer.

"Ben, here decided to punch a teacher in the face today," Dean explained once again, actually starting to feel bad for Ben, he for sure did stupid things as a teenager and knew how it feels to be talked about, by adults.

Sam's green but also brown, eyes widen and he questioned, "why?"

Dean ponder his mind to the earlier conversation looking for the answer, but came up with zero, "that part wasn't clearly stated."

All looking at Ben at once and he asked, "what, I got mad." Oh yeah, he got mad, Dean remembered that part now and shocking blue eyes came back into his mind. Dean blinked a few times to get the image out of his head, before looking back at Sam. His face showed emotions ranging from, amusement to frustration. It was quit the odd face.

"Okay well dinner is ready." Sam's face smoothed out again with his smile returning.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading the first chapter of my story! I will have the second chapter up soon. Please, ****review if you have anything you want to comment about this chapter. I accept reviews being good or bad, I just want to know ways I could improve my writing, for a more enjoyable read for you guys. Till next time!**


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